HARDSUMMER

Assignment of the day

Wed, 03 Aug 2011 22:14:03 -0400

Sort this bonobo pee. Careful, it’s worth more than your car.

Wishlist

Sun, 31 Jul 2011 15:26:11 -0400

Things I have been offered:

- A plane ticket to Delhi

- A government invitation to India + housing

- A mix CD of Indian club bangers

- Baigan Bartha

- 2 kilograms of daal

- A photo shoot (questionable)

- A sequined velvet hat from Ghana

- A fan from the Philippines

- One million business cards

"Driving after six drinks is a manly pleasure."

Sun, 31 Jul 2011 15:19:00 -0400

““Driving after six drinks is a manly pleasure.””

- O.P., India

"Can I take photos of you? Are you American?"

Sun, 17 Jul 2011 23:10:00 -0400

““Can I take photos of you? Are you American?””

- Cain Prince, Liberia

Photo

Tue, 12 Jul 2011 07:50:22 -0400

google search: “im having a hard summer.”

Wed, 06 Jul 2011 23:13:16 -0400

google search: “im having a hard summer.”

a streetcar named desire

Wed, 06 Jul 2011 23:09:00 -0400

Waiting room of Duke Transportation services. Vending machines with brown things only. TV mounted on wall - “Cheaters” is on. A cork board with two baby pictures - no one is “bringing in their baby pictures.”

Bucket Hat is old. He has grey hair and big hands. He is wearing a bucket hat - he says he’s the only one that does. Apple Pie is really fat. He closes his right eye when he laughs. He says he only has thirty more minutes before his work day is over. Jokester is younger. He is chewing on a toothpick. He called me a jokester though.

Jokester: Are you guys sisters?

C/J: No

Jokester: Do you guys play instruments?

C/J: No

Jokester: I saw the bandaids on your fingers, thought you guys played instruments. Or were mother and daughter.

C: They’re paper cuts.

Bucket hat: Guess how old I am.

C: 78

Bucket hat: 76.

Jokester: Guess how old I am.

C: 47

Jokester: 45. You a jokester you guessed young for him and old for me. (He touches my arm I think about it for a while.)

Bucket hat: Do you want a bar of soap.

C: I don’t have my wallet.

Bucket hat: I asked you if you wanted it. My niece went up to New York and got lice. Used this soap for two days killed the lice. Sent some up there killed the lice. It’s the lye.

C: Yeah I’ll take a bar of soap. Thanks.

Apple Pie: You never gave me no soap you’re not my frieeennnn (when he says friend he stretches it out and never gets to the end.)

At this point another man walks in. Gives Apple Pie two McDonald’s apple pies.

New guy: I took my grandchildren to McDonald’s bought 10 apple pies this was all that was left.

Apple Pie: See he’s my frieeennnn you not.

Then I took my driver’s test. I passed.

#newyorkstateofmind

Mon, 13 Jun 2011 23:04:00 -0400

i want to kill myself. these auction house intern girls are so wretched. they all flaunt their huge tacky louis and prada bags and wallets and blah blah blah and i’m sitting there stuffing envelopes with these freshman girls who are talking about how they were sitting in their friends car taking “selfies” because the weather was shitty before they went to this club which was sooooo fun because they all had tables and they didn’t get carded and they knew everyone there but they felt bad because this boy they knew spent $2,000 on a table and this girl just used him but whatever! lol gossip girl mwaz #losingfaithinhumanity how’s the van? missing you xx

WTF.

Mon, 13 Jun 2011 23:02:00 -0400

I have both good and bad news to share with you. The good news is that your background check went through and you are cleared for work at Duke. The bad news is that we have had an Indian and Nigerian program postpone until the fall and will not need as many employees this summer.

Here are a few options to consider:

1. We would like you to work with us on the open enrollment programs this summer. That position would start on June 20 and go until August 12 or 19 depending on how smooth the program winds down.

2. See if Duke temps has anything else on campus that would fill the time from now until June 20. I checked with X and right now the amount of open positions are pretty slim.

3. Enjoy a short vacation until June 20.

4. Do something else altogether.

I feel terrible since we rushed to get you started ASAP but there is now not enough work to go around. Call me this morning and let’s talk about what you want to do.